A Surprising Birthday Message...
Jul 11, 2024I recently celebrated my 44th birthday! It was a lovely and peaceful day…just the way I like it!
A friend reached out to wish me a happy birthday and asked a question that I’ve been thinking about ever since.
He said, “What did you learn this past year that has made a profound impact on you and your life?”
It was a surprising question. Most people simply say “Happy Birthday”. Of course, it made me think. There are lots of little things I’ve learned throughout the year. I like to think I’m constantly learning. But what would be one that has made a profound impact? What has been the life-changing lesson? How am I using that to live a better, more fulfilling life?
I’ve learned (and I’m still learning) to choose when I say “Yes” more intentionally. In my 20s, I prided myself on being up for adventure, saying “YES” to life and opportunities.
In my 30s, I prided myself on being a go with the flow person who rarely ever got shaken up.
Here I am, in my 40s and I’m realizing that for every “Yes” I say in one area, it automatically means “No” somewhere else. We are all given the same 24 hours. “What will you do with your one wild and precious life?”
Saying “yes” without careful consideration means the direction of my life is being determined by random, outside forces. It’s people-pleasing nature, so I don’t disappoint others. I love to be helpful. But there’s always a cost…a trade off.
I’ve worked extra long hours to please a boss, neglecting time I cherished with my kids.
I’ve said “yes” to friends when I really needed to study.
I’ve overextended our family activities/obligations to have more busyness and less quality time.
I still say “YES” to lots of opportunities in life. But I am more intentional with how I spend my time. To be honest, I believe time is our most valuable asset. It’s the one resource we can’t get back. I am choosing to invest my time rather than spend it.
I call it Lifestyle Design. It’s about living with intention. It’s about choosing how you will show up, choosing the impact you will make and choosing the legacy you will leave behind.
There are barriers to living the life of your dreams but most of those are old wounds that need to be healed. People pleasing generally comes from a fear of abandonment. Healing that fear is crucial to being able to disappoint others to be true to your own heart.
In short, I see myself on a continuous journey of healing. I will continue to look for the places inside of me that need love and healing. I do the work so that I can live my life more fully. And the work never really ends while I’m still here on this earth
But for now, I’m basking in my current life, designed with intention, by me.
How about you? What big life lessons have you learned recently? How are you designing your life? How do you hope your life looks in another year?
“What will you do with your one wild, precious life?”
You deserve the joy and peace you desire! I’m cheering you on!
Much Love,
Stacey