What are you REALLY chasing?
Oct 09, 2025
I recently heard a fascinating statistic. Apparently, when someone wins the lottery, their neighbor's risk for going bankrupt increases by about 32%.
The neighbor!?! What's the connection, you may wonder?
It brings us back to the old saying, "comparison is the thief of joy." The lottery winner will probably buy a new boat, send their kids to private school, upgrade their car, maybe even add on to their home. And the neighbor...gets a front row seat.
The neighbor begins to compare their current situation and desires what the lottery winner has. The neighbor tries to keep up. Except the neighbor didn't win the lottery.
So, the debt piles up, becomes overwhelming...and eventually, the neighbor files for bankruptcy.
Maybe this is a dramatic example of what we are doing almost all of the time. We compare ourselves to those around us. What they have. What their life looks like. And we find ourselves lacking.
->When we're single, we wish for a family.
When we're busy with a family, we wish for a night alone.
->We're proud of our nice new car, but feel let down the next year when the newer, better model comes out.
->We wish for a successful business.
Or we wish to just live off the grid and grow our own garden.
The common denominator is us. We are the ones making the comparisons and feeling that we're coming up short.
I've got a secret to tell you. It's not the external circumstances that you really want. It's what you believe it will make you FEEL.
- confident
- secure
- content
- powerful (because we've felt powerless)
When you find yourself making comparisons, pause and ask yourself what it is that you are trying to FEEL. Then, you can remind yourself of the ways in which you already are or have what you want.
The next question to ask yourself is "What can I do to increase my feelings of ____?"
Almost always, we find that the thing we are wishing for isn't going to bring us lasting happiness. We need to look inward and work to cultivate what we want from the inside out.
You deserve joy and peace!
All my love,
Stacey
PS- that picture is of me overlooking New York City. I was there on a work trip feeling successful AND missing my family. Don't forget that when we look at other people's highlights, we don't see the work that went into it or the desires they are wishing for...
