Peace isn’t found in a perfect schedule or a spotless kitchen
Aug 21, 2025
Sometimes the biggest laughs come from the deepest pain.
Have you ever made a joke but on the inside, you knew you should be concerned?
In a counselor training session, we did the “what’s on your plate” exercise. I was the volunteer and we publicly discussed everything I was carrying at the time. The workload…the piles of things. My colleague asked, “Is there anything you could take off of your plate?”
I removed the object that represented “doing the dishes” and threw it across the room. Everyone roared with laughter. None of us like doing the dishes. Everyone got it. Except…
When I left, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My response was fueled by something deeper than just wanting to make my friends laugh. I had become bitter and anxious. I dreaded the dishes and hated the time it took me away from all of the things I’d rather be doing…which was pretty much anything.
Even worse, as I begrudgingly did the dishes, I had strong negative self-talk around how I SHOULD feel. I SHOULD be grateful that I have dishes, and the ability to physically wash them, and the money to buy food for my family, and a home to live in…
Like so many things that we focus on, it wasn’t really about the dishes at all. It was my sense of feeling trapped in a life that I didn’t have control over. Work felt overwhelming. I gave away all of my patience throughout the day and had none left for my husband and children. I didn’t feel that my work was making the impact that I had once dreamed. I was just going through the motions.
It was a harsh reality. But it wasn’t the full truth. There were so many moments when I COULD have been making different choices that would have served me. I wasn’t trapped…I had just allowed myself to believe that I was.
I was reading “Long Walk to Freedom” by Nelson Mandela. He described how he found beauty while in prison.
I was reminded. The dishes weren’t the problem. My workload wasn’t the problem. It was inside of me. Like Dorothy, I had the power all along. I just wasn’t using it.
Peace didn’t come when I cleared my plate…it came when I cleared my mind. I refocused on my own healing work. I revisited my morning routine. I became more intentional about my life and my choices…including my inner state.
When I focused on healing from the inside, the outside became more manageable. I was able to make decisions from a place of clarity instead of anxiety, stress and fear. Wait, were you thinking that I’ve never slipped into negative states?!? Far from it! The beautiful thing is that we can do the inner healing work. Because of neuroplasticity, we can reshape our brains including our default emotional state.
So, what did I do about those pesky dishes? I found a way to bring some joy to even that chore. I started listening to my favorite music. The music that my children weren’t into, Norah Jones. I’d sing along to my favorite songs and before I knew it, the dishes were done. But I couldn’t have done that without starting on the inside first.
The beautiful thing is that we all have the capacity for peace. The path to get there is through healing the underlying traumas, beliefs and old patterns. Then, retrain our brains so that peace becomes our new set point. Peace and joy become the habits of our mind and body.
The truth is, peace isn’t found in a perfect schedule or a spotless kitchen. It’s found in the quiet decision to reclaim your power…one dish, one breath, one choice at a time. We don’t need to wait for life to feel easier. We can start by healing the part of us that believes we’re stuck. That’s where the shift begins.
You deserve joy and peace!
All my love,
Stacey
PS- Fall is a powerful season for healing and growth. As routines reset and new rhythms emerge, it’s the perfect time to prioritize your own transformation. I currently have a few openings for private coaching. If you’re feeling the pull, let’s talk. Schedule a free consultation...I’d love to support your next chapter.
